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Lesson Transcript

Chuck: Chuck here upper intermediate season 1 lesson 22. No matter how stupid, you must laugh at German jokes. Hello and welcome back to Germanpod101.com, the fastest, easiest and most fun way to learn German. I’m joined in the studio by;
Judith: Hello everyone, Judith here.
Chuck: In this lesson, you’ll learn about German humor.
Judith: This conversation takes place at a German office.
Chuck: The conversation is between Mrs. Bayer and Mr. Jones.
Judith: The speakers are good colleagues, therefore they’ll be speaking informal German.
Chuck: Let’s listen to the conversation.
Bayer: Haha, möchtest du einen Witz hören?
Jones: Klar.
Bayer: Also, Niemand, Doof und Keiner gehen am See spazieren. Da fällt Keiner ins Wasser und Niemand hat es gesehen.
Bayer: Doof rennt schnell zur Polizei und sagt „Keiner ist ins Wasser gefallen und Niemand hat‘s gesehen!“
Bayer: Da fragt der Polizist „Sagen Sie, sind sie doof?“ Sagt Doof „Ja, höchstpersönlich!“ Hahaha!
Jones: Hahaha! Der ist ja lustig!
Bayer: Ja. Wer auch immer sich den Witz ausgedacht hat, hat einen Preis verdient!
Jones: Ja. Man sollte viel öfter Witze erzählen, das ist immer gut für die Stimmung.
Bayer: Ja, das stimmt. Kennst du einen guten Witz?
Jones: Hm, nein. Ich bin auch nicht gut im Witze erzählen. Egal wie lustig ein Witz ist, wann immer ich einen Witz erzähle, lacht niemand.
Bayer: Was? Nein, das kann nicht sein.
Jones: Doch das stimmt! Warum auch immer das so ist….
Bayer: Na dann erzähl einfach mal einen Witz, dann werden wir ja sehen, ob ich lachen muss.
Jones: Hmm, okay. Also. Laufen zwei Sandkörner durch die Wüste. Sagt der eine zum anderen „Du, ich glaube wir werden verfolgt…“
Bayer: …….Hahaha…..
Jones: Oh, du musst ja lachen!
Bayer: Haha, ja aber nur, weil du Recht hattest! Haha…
Bayer: Haha, would you like to hear a joke?
Jones: Okay.
Bayer: So, Nobody, Stupid, and No One were walking near the Lake. Then No One fell in the water, and Nobody saw it happen.
Bayer: Stupid ran quickly to the police and said "Hey, No One fell into the water, and Nobody saw it happen!"
Bayer: So the cop asks "Tell me, are you stupid?", and Stupid says "Yup, that's me!" Hahaha!
Jones: Hahaha! That's quite funny!
Bayer: Yes. Whoever thought that joke up deserves a prize!
Jones: Yeah. People should tell jokes more often, it always lightens the mood.
Bayer: Yes, that's true. Do you know a good joke?
Jones: Hm, no. I'm not good at telling jokes. No matter how funny the joke is, whenever I tell a joke nobody laughs.
Bayer: What? No, that can't be.
Jones: No, it's true! For whatever reason...
Bayer: Well then just tell a joke and we'll see whether you can make me laugh.
Jones: Hmm, okay. So, two grains of sand are walking through the desert. One says to the other: "Hey, I believe we're being followed"
Bayer: ...Hahaha...
Jones: Oh, I made you laugh!
Bayer: Haha, yes, but only because you were right! Haha
Judith: Alright, I think this lesson is finally a good place to talk about jokes in Germany.
Chuck: Sounds good.
Judith: Because you can make quite a few mistakes if you tell the wrong kind of joke in Germany.
Chuck: Yes. So I’d say popular joke topics would be well, blondes, professions, military, east Frisians…..
Judith: East Frisians you know people from the northern part of Germany. You know they’re supposed to be stupid. And we also like to joke about Serbians which are supposed to be sturdy.
Chuck: And people from other regions of Germany?
Judith: Yes generally the neighboring regions are good for, I can joke about them.
Chuck: Also the Austrians are supposed to be stupid in jokes right?
Judith: Yes and the Swiss are supposed to be slow.
Chuck: Oh and the Pols are supposed to steal.
Judith: Yes and there’s also jokes about Nationalities.
Chuck: Of course there are also jokes that rely on a play on words or situational humor.
Judith: Yes but things that won’t work in Germany are jokes about Jews or jokes about bodily functions.
Chuck: Yes, I remember lawyer jokes are less common here but we’ll probably get a few laughs here anyway.
Judith: Yes, that’s fine.
Chuck: So let’s take a look at the vocabulary for this lesson. The first word we shall see is;
Judith: [Witz]
Chuck: Joke.
Judith: [Witz, der] and the plural is [Witze]
Chuck: Next.
Judith: [doof]
Chuck: Stupid or silly.
Judith: [doof]
Chuck: Next.
Judith: [See]
Chuck: Lake.
Judith: [See, der] and the plural is [Seen]
Chuck: Next.
Judith: [spazieren]
Chuck: To take a walk.
Judith: [spazieren]
Chuck: Next.
Judith: [fallen]
Chuck: To fall.
Judith: [fallen] and the forms are [Er fällt, Er fiel, Er ist gefallen].
Chuck: Next.
Judith: [rennen]
Chuck: To run.
Judith: [rennen] and the forms are [Er rennt, Er rannte, Er ist gerannt]
Chuck: Next.
Judith: [persönlich]
Chuck: Personally.
Judith: [persönlich]
Chuck: Next.
Judith: [sich ausdenken]
Chuck: To think up.
Judith: [sich ausdenken]
Chuck: Next.
Judith: [verdienen]
Chuck: To earn or to deserve.
Judith: [verdienen]
Chuck: Next.
Judith: [egal]
Chuck: Doesn’t matter.
Judith: [egal]
Chuck: Next.
Judith: [lachen]
Chuck: To laugh.
Judith: [lachen]
Chuck: Next.
Judith: [Korn]
Chuck: Wheat or grain.
Judith: [Korn, das] and the plural is [Körner]
Chuck: Next.
Judith: [Wüste]
Chuck: Desert.
Judith: [Wüste, die] and the plural is [Wüsten]
Chuck: Next.
Judith: [verfolgen]
Chuck: To prosecute or to chase.
Judith: [verfolgen]
Chuck: Let’s have a closer look for the usage for some of the words and phrases from this lesson.
Judith: The first word we look at is [See]
Chuck: Be careful with this word because it’s actually two words.
Judith: Yes, there is [der See]
Chuck: The lake.
Judith: But there is also [die See]
Chuck: The sea. That’s pretty confusing isn’t it?
Judith: Yes, and der Preis is also a confusing word. It doesn’t change gender but it can mean both price and prize as in an award.
Chuck: Yes, but that’s more confusing for the Germans.
Judith: Yes, to speak English correctly.
Chuck: You’ll often hear them mix up the two.
Judith: And finally we should look at [höchstpersönlich]
Chuck: It literally means most personally.
Judith: Yes, but it’s like saying in the flesh in English.

Lesson focus

Chuck: Well the grammar focus for this lesson are the expressions [wer auch immer] and [egal wer]
Judith: [wer auch immer] and [egal wer] are two ways of expressing the same thing. Whoever.
Chuck: In German forms like whoever, whenever, wherever, whatsoever and so on are created using the question words.
Judith: Take any question word and add [auch immer] like [was auch immer]
Chuck: Whatever of whatsoever.
Judith: [wann auch immer]
Chuck: Whenever.
Judith: [wo auch immer]
Chuck: Wherever.
Judith: [warum auch immer]
Chuck: For whatever reason and so on.The [immer auch immer] forms are kind of formal. If you want to sound more colloquial, use [egal]
Judith: Put the question word after [egal] so you get [egal was]
Chuck: [egal wann]
Judith: [egal wo]


Chuck: And so on. Well, that just about does it for today.
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Chuck: So see you next week.
Judith: [Also bis nächste Woche]!


Please to leave a comment.
😄 😞 😳 😁 😒 😎 😠 😆 😅 😜 😉 😭 😇 😴 😮 😈 ❤️️ 👍

GermanPod101.com Verified
Tuesday at 06:30 PM
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Könnt ihr einen Witz auf Deutsch erzählen?

Can you tell a joke in German?

GermanPod101.com Verified
Tuesday at 02:34 AM
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Hallo robert groulx,

Thank you for your remark! I will forward it to our team. 😇

If you have any further feedback or questions, we are glad to assist.

Good luck with your language studies.

Mit freundlichen Grüßen,


Team GermanPod101.com

robert groulx
Wednesday at 08:02 AM
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thanks for the lesson

my favorite words are Haha, ja aber nur, weil du Recht hattest! Haha…


GermanPod101.com Verified
Thursday at 08:50 AM
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Hi Andrew,

Thank you for your comment and for

clarifying this for all our users.👍

And the attention to detail will help you greatly in learning a


If you have any questions, please let us know.

Kind regards,


Team GermanPod101.com

Monday at 02:55 AM
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Ich möchte einen Kommentar abgeben. "See" kann je entweder "lake" oder "sea" bedeuten. Es hängt davon ab Geschlecht.

Der See(n) = the lake

Die See(n) = the sea

GermanPod101.com Verified
Friday at 02:08 PM
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Hello Ambassador,

Thank you for posting!

We are glad to hear that you are enjoying our lessons :laughing:



Team GermanPod101.com

Monday at 02:44 PM
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Das ist sehr lustig... :smile::smile:

Friday at 04:42 AM
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:grin: :grin: :grin:

@Silvia: Die Witze sind tollll!

Danke für diese Tipps! Sie sind sehr nützlich!

Friday at 04:26 AM
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Treffen sich zwei Jäger im Wald. Beide tot.

Zwei Tafeln Schokolade fallen vom Tisch. Sagt die eine "boah ich glaube ich hab mir meine Rippen gebrochen" sagt die andere "du hast's noch gut, ich bin voll auf die Nüssen gefallen!"


*haha* nice one.

But let me give you some corrections:

Einen Morgen, eine Mutter hat ihren Sohn aufgewacht. => Eines Morgens weckt eine Mutter ihren Sohn auf. (aufwachen is when you wake up yourself. aufwecken is when you wake up someone else. Or i.e. when the alarm is rining you can say "Der Wecker hat mich aufgeweckt")

“Guten Morgen, meinen Sohn!" => Guten Morgen, mein Sohn" der Sohn, masculine.

"Gib mir zwei Gründe, warum du nicht zur Schule gehen will.” => "Sag mir zwei Gründe, warum du nicht zur Schule gehen willst.” wollen in second person singular. willst. you use sagen and not geben in this case. I'd say you could use geben but sagen sounds way better.

“Das ist kein Grund, um zu Hause zu bleiben. Komm, du musst dich jetzt umziehen.” => I'd use anziehen (get dressed) instead of umziehen (change clothes)

Saturday at 07:58 AM
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Ich werde versuchen.

Einen Morgen, eine Mutter hat ihren Sohn aufgewacht. "Guten Morgen, meinen Sohn! Du musst heute zur Schule gehen!" Ihr Sohn sagt, "Warum? Ich bleibe lieber zu Hause". Die Mutter sagt, "Quatsch! Gib mir zwei Gründe, warum du nicht zur Schule gehen will." Er sagt, "Die Kinder hassen mich, und die Lehreren hassen mir auch!" Und seine Mutter sagt, "Das ist kein Grund, um zu Hause zu bleiben. Komm, du musst dich jetzt umziehen." Und er sagt, "Gib mir einen Grund, warum ich zur Schule gehen muss." Und sie sagt, "Du bist der Schuldirektor!"